Sports From Hell

"I have a ferret going down my pants, I'm wearing these horrible sweats that are tucked into my shoes and I'm not wearing underpants and I have to keep two ferrets in my pants for three minutes." - Sports from Hell: My Search for the World's Dumbest Competition

Adult ferrets average about 18 inches (460 mm) from nose to the tip of the tail.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

Ferret legging, also known as put 'em down and ferret-down-trousers, is a sport that seems to have been popular among coal miners in Yorkshire, England. The Official Dictionary of Unofficial English defines it as "an endurance test or stunt in which ferrets are trapped in pants worn by a participant". The male-only contestants put live ferrets inside their trousers; the winner is the one who is the last to release the animals. Reg Mellor, a retired miner from Barnsley, holds the world record at five hours and twenty-six minutes, a feat he achieved in 1981. Mellor's "trick" was to ensure that the ferrets were well-fed before they were inserted into his trousers.

The sport may have originated during the time when only the relatively wealthy in England were allowed to keep animals used for hunting, forcing poachers to hide their illicit ferrets in their trousers. Following a brief resurgence in popularity during the 1970s, ferret legging has been described as a "dying sport", although a national ferret legging event has been held in Richmond, Virginia, every year since 2003.

In the sport of ferret legging, competitors tie their trousers at the ankles before placing two ferrets inside and securely fastening their belts to prevent the ferrets from escaping. Each competitor then stands in front of the judges for as long as he can. Competitors cannot be drunk or drugged, nor can the ferrets be sedated. In addition, competitors are not allowed underwear beneath their trousers, which must allow the ferrets free access from one leg to the other, and the ferrets must have a full set of teeth that must not have been filed or otherwise blunted. The winner is the person who lasts the longest. The sport is said to involve very little "native skill", simply an ability to "have your tool bitten and not care". The current world champion, Reg Mellor, is credited with instituting the practice of wearing white trousers in ferret legging matches, to better display the blood from the wounds caused by the animals. Competitors can attempt, from outside their trousers, to dislodge the ferrets, but as the animals can maintain a strong hold for long periods, their removal can be difficult.