Anticipating my first passport-required vacation, I recently watched the following movies, all involving travel to warm places, to get an idea of what I might expect of the trip:
THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND: Callow young Scot flees dreary UK for sunny Africa, where he has sex with native girl he meets on long bus ride. (So far, so good!) Arrives in Uganda, where he meets Gillian Anderson. (Excellent!) They never consummate their flirtation, though, thanks to the arrival of hulking, lazy-eyed, heavily-armed cannibal (uh-oh!) played by Forrest Whitaker (yikes!) in an Oscar-winning performance (*sigh*) that ensures the movie will never get back to Gillian Anderson.
TURISTAS: Callow young Americans flee dreary California for Brazil (so far, so good), where they survive a bus accident unscathed (what luck!) and meet friendly locals (yes!) at a secluded beach (goood) for nude frolicking/rum drinking (excellent!) only to learn by morning that their organs have been sold (ye-…what?)
THE ROAD TO GUANTANAMO: A trio of young Brits flee dreary Birmingham, accompany a friend to Pakistan for his wedding (hmm…I see possibilities); go sightseeing in advance of the event (good, okay); and wind up in Afghanistan, where, after a series of near-fatal misadventures (oh no!), they are mistaken for jihadists (not good!), turned over to the U.S. Army, and deposited in Camp X-Ray, where they are tormented for the next two years. (Note to self: Remove Fodor’s Kandahar from Amazon Wishlist.)
(Blogger's photo-add tool isn't currently functioning, so I was unsuccessful in bumping the Jason Stollheimer photo...for now, Rocky. For now.)
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