Colorado Crime

Thankfully, here in Snowmass Village I am distanced from the ravages of urban crime, as found in Colorado's larger cities. Cases in point:

I pita the fool that messes with me....

A woman arrested after a pita-throwing incident said Wednesday she disputes the Boulder Police Department's version of events.

Boulder police arrested [the] woman on an outstanding warrant after she was accused of chucking her pita sandwich at a cab driver in a fit of anger. She brought attention to herself when she threw her food at the cab driver, splattering tzatziki sauce on his face and in his beard and making a mess of his cab, according to a police report. Witnesses told police she was angry that he wouldn't allow her to have food in his cab. The cab driver opted against filing charges against Lane.

Lane told the Camera that, after a few drinks with friends, she stopped to get a gyro and then went to get a cab. As she was entering the cab, the driver yelled that she couldn't bring her food inside the taxi.

When she exited, Lane said, she made the mistake of using an expletive, which prompted the driver to get out of his cab and snatch the gyro out of her hand. She said she doesn't remember what happened next, but her friends saw the driver throw the pita at her.
http://www.dailycamera.com/boulder-county-news/ci_18270747
http://www.dailycamera.com/boulder-county-news/ci_18284202#ixzz1Q7dJfcFp

Boulder Cops Seek Yoga-Fest Toilet Lurker

Boulder police are looking for a tall young man who escaped capture while "covered in feces" after he contorted himself inside a portable toilet at the Hanuman Yoga Festival on Friday.

A woman had gone inside to use the toilet when she suspected someone was hiding in the well-used bowl beneath a tarp, police said Tuesday. A security officer waited outside until a shirtless, shoeless man came out stained with human waste. When the officer tried to stop him, he made a run for it and got away.

Witnesses told police he might be a local transient who uses the name Sky. He is described as white, about 20 years old, between 6 feet 4 inches and 6 feet 8 inches tall with a thin build and short, dark hair. Witnesses said he had cuts on his back and legs and was wearing leather bracelets on each wrist.

Boulder police spokeswoman Kim Kobel told the Daily Camera that police are not sure how he was able to squeeze into the tank or what he was doing there. He is being sought on charges of criminal attempt to make unlawful sexual contact.

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_18326586?utm_medium=facebook

Bonus, non-Colorado, crime:

Amish Man Accused of Sexting Girl, 12

An Amish man who sent hundreds of sexually charged text messages to a 12-year-old girl was arrested last week when he drove a horse and buggy to an Indiana restaurant where he had arranged a rendezvous with the child, according to police.

Yoder’s contact with the girl began with a random text sent to her phone. When the child’s parents learned of their daughter’s contact with Yoder, they took control of her phone and continued communicating with Yoder, who sent about 600 texts, as well as nude photos and explicit videos to the girl. In one text, Yoder told the girl that, “the proposed sex act would happen inside the buggy,” according to a Connersville Police Department report.

The parents then contacted the police, and officers took over the sting operation. After arranging the Wednesday night meeting, cops staking out the Takehome restaurant reported seeing “the outline of a carriage type buggy pulled by one horse and what appeared to be one occupant.”