9/11

What a tasteful [get it?] way to honor our fallen brethren. Get down to the lobby before the supply of Bunn® coffee in the twin urns collapses, the muffins crumble under assault from patrons, or the 30-minute window of remembrance expires!
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How Dumb Is TV News?

Really, really dumb:



It's been reported that the names were given to the local TV station by an wise-ass intern at the National Transportation Safety Board. Apparently Moe changed his career from bartender to fact checker at KTVU News and Bart Simpson is interning at the NTSB.

Time to Storm the Bastille! I'll Be Right Behind You, Feral Boy

The redistribution of wealth continues. From the Wall Street Journal blog:

Only Richest 7% Saw Wealth Gains From 2009 to 2011, by Neil Shah: ... From 2009 to 2011, the average wealth of America’s richest 7% — the 8 million households with a net worth north of about $800,000 — rose nearly 30% to $3.2 million from $2.5 million, according to a Pew Research Center report... By contrast, the average wealth of America’s remaining 93%, some 111 million households, actually dropped by 4% to $134,000 from $140,000. ...

The findings show that America’s economic recovery has been not just sluggish, but painfully uneven in its benefits. Rallying stock and bond markets have boosted the wealth of America’s most affluent... The upper 7% of households held 63% of the nation’s wealth at the end of 2011, up from 56% in 2009.

“Wealth inequality increased during the first two years of the recovery,” the authors said. “On an individual household basis, the mean wealth of households in [the] more affluent group was almost 24 times that of those in the less affluent group in 2011. At the start of the recovery in 2009, that ratio had been less than 18-to-1.”

!&!

Season's Greetings from Crazy Town

If rocky were more ambitious, he'd start a project called "America Is Deranged; America Is Beautiful". These are scenes from my town. Believe me, it's only the tip of the iceberg--a bunch of lunatics screaming "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" on their front lawns. 

Crazy Clown Time

What If... Salvador Dali Designed Clocks

Do you love Jesus?

Do you love dolphins?

Here's the perfect clock for you!

The Kill Team

The Kill Team: How U.S. Soldiers in Afghanistan Murdered Innocent Civilians

Early last year, after six hard months soldiering in Afghanistan, a group of American infantrymen reached a momentous decision: It was finally time to kill a haji.

Among the men of Bravo Company, the notion of killing an Afghan civilian had been the subject of countless conversations, during lunchtime chats and late-night bull sessions. For weeks, they had weighed the ethics of bagging "savages" and debated the probability of getting caught. Some of them agonized over the idea; others were gung-ho from the start. But not long after the New Year, as winter descended on the arid plains of Kandahar Province, they agreed to stop talking and actually pull the trigger...

Yikes!

Melancholia from Zentropa on Vimeo.

Around Town

Attention Marquis and Rex, did you know you can "friend" the oldest burning lightbulb in the world? Yes, the Livermore lightbulb has its own Facebook page.

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Bad Ideas in the History of the Clock

Remember the time we thought it would be cool to start our own hair band.

Why Are People So Worked Up About the Economy? Everything's Just Peachy!

From today's Times:

"American businesses earned profits at an annual rate of $1.659 trillion in the third quarter, according to a Commerce Department report released Tuesday. That is the highest figure recorded since the government began keeping track over 60 years ago, at least in nominal or noninflation-adjusted terms."
. . .

Editor asleep at the desk...

Last sentence of a Reuters article today:

"The S&P broke above a short-term resistance level of 1,140, the 61.8 Fibonacci retracement of its 2010 high-to-low slide."

What the fuck?

The Glory of God

From towleroad.com:
A ten-foot tall crucifix is causing controversy at a Catholic Church in Oklahoma.

"The controversial crucifix has caused a deep divide among members of St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church, where it hangs above the main altar. 'There are a couple people who have left the parish,' said the Rev. Philip Seeton, the church’s pastor. 'There are people in the parish who don’t like it and have stayed.' Critics of the crucifix take issue with what appears to be a large penis covering Jesus’ abdominal area. Seeton said the portion of the crucifix in question is meant to be Jesus’ abdomen 'showing distension' — not a penis. Seeton said, 'I’ve had people who have vocally said that that’s what they see there. I’ve had people who have been just as vocal who said that’s not what they’re seeing there.' Janet Jaime, a local iconography artist who designed the crucifix, had no comment."

The crucifix is based on the San Damiano Crucifix. As you can see, it has distended abs too.

Sports From Hell

"I have a ferret going down my pants, I'm wearing these horrible sweats that are tucked into my shoes and I'm not wearing underpants and I have to keep two ferrets in my pants for three minutes." - Sports from Hell: My Search for the World's Dumbest Competition

Adult ferrets average about 18 inches (460 mm) from nose to the tip of the tail.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

Ferret legging, also known as put 'em down and ferret-down-trousers, is a sport that seems to have been popular among coal miners in Yorkshire, England. The Official Dictionary of Unofficial English defines it as "an endurance test or stunt in which ferrets are trapped in pants worn by a participant". The male-only contestants put live ferrets inside their trousers; the winner is the one who is the last to release the animals. Reg Mellor, a retired miner from Barnsley, holds the world record at five hours and twenty-six minutes, a feat he achieved in 1981. Mellor's "trick" was to ensure that the ferrets were well-fed before they were inserted into his trousers.

The sport may have originated during the time when only the relatively wealthy in England were allowed to keep animals used for hunting, forcing poachers to hide their illicit ferrets in their trousers. Following a brief resurgence in popularity during the 1970s, ferret legging has been described as a "dying sport", although a national ferret legging event has been held in Richmond, Virginia, every year since 2003.

In the sport of ferret legging, competitors tie their trousers at the ankles before placing two ferrets inside and securely fastening their belts to prevent the ferrets from escaping. Each competitor then stands in front of the judges for as long as he can. Competitors cannot be drunk or drugged, nor can the ferrets be sedated. In addition, competitors are not allowed underwear beneath their trousers, which must allow the ferrets free access from one leg to the other, and the ferrets must have a full set of teeth that must not have been filed or otherwise blunted. The winner is the person who lasts the longest. The sport is said to involve very little "native skill", simply an ability to "have your tool bitten and not care". The current world champion, Reg Mellor, is credited with instituting the practice of wearing white trousers in ferret legging matches, to better display the blood from the wounds caused by the animals. Competitors can attempt, from outside their trousers, to dislodge the ferrets, but as the animals can maintain a strong hold for long periods, their removal can be difficult.

Another Sign that Needs to Come Down

Not in Livermore, but in San Francisco. No wonder some people dislike SF.

(from James Fallows' blog)

from the I Don't Wanna Live In This World Anymore dept.

from NME:

Shane MacGowan is set to appear in a reality TV programme about growing vegetables.
The Pogues' frontman and his girlfriend Victoria Mary Clarke both take part in the RTÉ One programme, which is called 'Victoria and Shane Grow Their Own'.

In the show, the pair attempt to emulate the plot of '70s sitcom 'The Good Life', which saw characters Tom and Barbara Good attempt to live a sustainable life by growing their own veg and rearing their own animals for food.

However, with Clarke not well versed in gardening and MacGowan apparently providing little help, the couple initially struggle with the concept, according to Spinner.


'Victoria and Shane Grow Their Own' is due to be broadcast on RTÉ One on December 8 at 10:15pm.

Gun-Toting Soccer Mom Shot Dead

This story leaves me speechless. How does one describe it? Tragic, ironic, idiotic?

....

Not the Stephen Colbert Show

We all know that facts have a liberal bias. But what about The Bible? Apparently some right wing evangelicals think so. They're rewriting the good book to eliminate liberal biases, including wiping out Christ ever saying, "Forgive them for they know not what they do." I'd be interested in what it'll be replaced with. Maybe Christ saying, "Waterboard the damn Pharisees until they confess to their sins." Soon, kids, it'll be okay to kill in Jesus's name. It'll say so right in The Bible. You can read about it on Conservapedia, the alternative to the fact-based (i.e., liberal) Wikipedia: http://conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project

...

Woman's "eyetooth" is for sight, not bite

I don't really understand this, but...

MIAMI — A 60-year-old woman blind for nine years has regained useful vision following a rare operation in which surgeons removed one of her teeth, drilled a hole in it, inserted a plastic lens into the hole and implanted the tooth-lens combination into her eye. It's the first such operation in the U.S., they said.

With 20/70 vision now, Sharron "Kay" Thornton, of Smithdale, Miss., can recognize faces and read a newspaper with a magnifying glass, and should get better vision once she is fully healed and fitted with glasses, doctors say.

She lost her vision to Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, a severe allergic reaction to medication that blistered and scarred her cornea, the convex part of the eye that covers the iris and pupil.

Thornton now is looking forward to seeing her three grown children and nine grandchildren for the first time in nine years

Three Unadorned Links

Copy-and-paste, sorry:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/22/business/22flint.html?em

http://www.pinktentacle.com/2009/04/photos-world-sand-sculpture-festival-2009/

http://markeitzel.blogspot.com/2009/04/mostly-finished-song-147-am.html